Starting therapy is hard. You may be sceptical, nervous or downright scared about seeking therapy. Most people have a natural fear of the unknown, which could be contributing to your feelings. I hope these brief tips on how to choose a therapist are useful.
Firstly, let’s explore the practicalities. What can you afford? Will your health insurance cover all / part of your costs? Is the therapist set up to go through insurance or will you need to pay directly? These are all things you can feel comfortable asking the therapist directly if you’re not sure. When calculating your budget remember to consider how frequently you want to meet your therapist. I believe in the benefits of meeting your therapist weekly at a set time; for me, knowing I have a scheduled hour to tend to myself with the support of my therapist every week is essential for my mental health. It is always ok to ask for a reduced fee if you need it. If that therapist can’t meet your request, they might be able to refer you to another professional who can.
Shop around! I suggest meeting a few different therapists for intro sessions (many offer free 15-minute sessions, so do ask). In these first meetings, stay in touch with yourself and notice how you feel in their presence. How does your body feel with this person? And what thoughts do you have about this person? How do you feel in their presence? Do you feel safe enough? What draws you to them? Is there anything that feels incompatible?
I believe in healthy challenge. I need more than a silent, nodding person when I’m exploring my innermost self! I actually think silence can be shaming. Of course as I client I want to be heard and listened to carefully and empathetically, but I would be very put off if my therapist had no or very few words. Equally, I don’t want my therapist to think they have all the answers. I want to feel in collaboration with my therapist, exploring, discussing and challenging together for deeper self-knowledge and self-acceptance. You might not know what you need from therapy at first, but trust that you’re looking for a therapist for a reason and will choose step by step as necessary.
Ask questions! There are many different types of therapy and every therapist will do their version of that type. Ask whatever you want to! Maybe it’s important to know how exactly your therapist works. What is their approach or method? What beliefs do they hold? What is their aim / goal as a therapist?
Remember you’re the expert on you! A trained professional can help you see yourself in another way and offer insights into your thought / behaviour patterns. You may feel mainly anxious at first, which could make it hard to connect to how you really feel about the new therapist but trust that you know enough to make a choice for now and can always change your mind at any time. In time, I hope you’ll feel empowered and accepted by your therapist.
